acquaintance of insecurity

February 25, 2011 § Leave a comment

Today, I was sitting all alone at the office. I was the only person who had the shift. Anyway, I’m working as an e-learning assistant at my university. I have eaten my lunch, downloaded several songs, and checked my e-mail and scele account, and still, I feel bored.

I use to look at my window, for your information, my computer places beside the window. From my desk I able to see the view of an avenue surrounded with some trees. Sometimes, I saw a few students on bike, cars on the wheel, or security patrol. But most of the times, I saw something that rarely people realize about, I saw silence. That avenue is more often to be quiet than to be in noise. But, most people who cross that avenue seem the same feeling, they feel secure. Well, I guess some people have the same thought with me; silence brings the security to your soul.

Then, I looked at my twitter account and I lost the secure feeling I got by seeing the view outside my window. Today, one of my friends had passed away because of brain cancer. What struck me the most is, beside the memories that I share with my other high school friends, I’m not ready to attend any funeral. If you read some of my post before, you’ll see I’ve been struggling through a pretty hard situation, and now I’m not ready to face something like this.

I don’t know, I think I’ll spend my whole night to cry, alone.

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